Monsters

12-11-08

The trouble with monsters is that they are everywhere.

This is according to my two sons, who on one too many occasions the last six months have had run ins with the mysterious creatures. It started when Bobby, my three year old, decided that they were living in his bedroom. It caused him to be fearful of being in there at night. He would get up in the middle of the night, convinced that one of them was jumping around and breaking things in his room. It was some very exhausting nights while we went through the arsenal of solutions available to us on the net.

We tried the monster killer, AKA squirt bottle. This seemed to keep them at bay for a while. He armed himself each night with the spray bottle after we showed him how to use it against the rude houseguests. The bottle had nothing in it, but this didn’t seem to bother Bobby. He ran through the house before bed and claimed to have killed all of the monsters and he settled in for sleep feeling victorious. Not as much as we did since it meant that we also would get sleep.

That was of course until we heard the pitter pat of his Lightning McQueen slippers enter our room with the hushed whisper of “Daddy?” The monsters were back. We tried “friends” in the form of his toy Shrek and even Blue. He has a small army of stuffed animals, lead by General Buzz Lightyear who seemed to be at a loss as to what to do with the onslaught of these pesky buggers.

Finally on a whim, I decided to make monster powder. My husband and I rummaged through the house looking for the best container for this magical remedy that consisted of baby powder and some sparkly body powder I had in my makeup drawer. In our search, we came across these plastic bottles and colored sand that were some craft project I had purchased long before either of my children would care to make sand bottles. However, it was their time to shine as I cam out of the craft box with excitement. Bobby would help me make the monster powder with the colored sand. He would pick a pinch of the colors to put into the base of baby powder to create a tailor made concoction specific for his brand of monster. Luckily, it seemed to do the trick as he and Daddy sprinkled the dust all over ever square inch of his room and most of the house.

What makes this even more frustrating is that monsters truly are everywhere. They are on Sesame Street. Grover, Oscar and the truly frightening Elmo are all technically monsters. The description of Yo Gabba Gabba, which is a favorite in our house, says that is the adventures of four monsters and a robot. Even one of their beloved Pixar films is an entire world of monsters. Mind you, all of these creatures are totally acceptable to each of them. They even have a set of the Yo Gabba Gabba crowd on their beds and Dax loves his Sulley action figure. I have tried to explain to them that the monsters in their rooms are friends with the good monsters and will not hurt them. My pleas fall on deaf ears.

Bobby was looking at something that had the Loch Ness Monster on it. He asked me what it was. I actually had to come up with something else to call this fictional character. I can’t even bring myself to say monster for anything. I am so scared that it will put a new image of the bad monsters in their heads that I have to come up with creative ways to describe things.

How can you battle something that has such a prominent place in our lives? I don’t want to say that all monsters are bad, since we know this isn’t the case. Of course, they aren’t all good, either. I guess monsters are just like people. They come in all shapes and sizes and some are pleasant, some are grumpy, and some are child like. Maybe this is why monsters are so easy for children to gravitate towards, not just because of their cuddly aspects. They are exaggerated images they might have of the people in their lives. Elmo is just like a kid brother, always willing to play, full of wonder and someone you can always teach a lesson to, which is great for kids to be the ones who teach instead of being taught. They also see monsters like Oscar who are grouchy like his name and I would bet the monsters under the bed look more like him than Elmo. Kids are not scared of monsters, so much as they are frightened of the characteristics that certain monsters portray. Clearly my lesson plan has changed. I need to be teaching them how to deal with difficult monsters much in the same way I deal with difficult humans. I am pretty sure no amount of magic monster powder will get rid of that annoying boss or rude checkout girl. Maybe the monsters need some compassion.

I am now on a mission to make the monster lessons similar to the training classes we get at work on how to work with all different sorts of people. I think this will be a better lesson overall with the boys. Maybe it will help Bobby sleep, and in turn, create a better person for the future.

Of course, now the monsters have now moved on to torment Dax, my 2 year old. The last couple nights we headed out for a walk around the neighborhood to look at Christmas lights when Dax gripped onto my legs on a particularly dark section hissing at me, “Mommy! Scared!” I asked him what he was afraid of and he said with all seriousness, “Monsters!” I guess I need to get him enrolled in my new classes, too.